I would say my life has been insane the past couple weeks, but then I back up and realize the whole summer has been full of unexpectedness and talking to my friend Daniel today was reminded that my life here started with just as much craziness. (Another one of those paradoxes I love so much—crazy, at this point, would be a calm and quiet day.)
What God has been ingraining in me this summer: He is perfect. Always. In everything.
On the plane heading back from the states in June, I tried to picture what my summer would look like. I couldn’t do it. I saw Poltava on the horizon, but couldn’t judge how far away it was, how long it would take me to get there or what all would occur between the time I stepped off the plane and the moment I walked across the threshold into my apartment there.
So many days I longed for it. A couple times I even held my breath. He said wait. And so I did.
My waiting me landed me back at camps this summer. Unexpected. But perfect. Being at camp gave me many opportunities to tell my story, strengthened relationships that I know I am going to need and forced me to use my Russian. I made new friends—even a couple who live in Poltava (perfect). God let me be part of a ‘moment’ in a friend’s life that I had been praying for the entire time I have been in Ukraine. (perfect.)
Being at camp in Bucha also opened the door to helping out with an orphan camp going on in Poltava. And Magdych loaded the van with my stuff and Radooga’s stuff…and so it began...
Upon arrival in Poltava, I stood outside the door to our apartment praying that it would be God’s and that those who enter it would feel the same spirit that Amberly, mom and I had all felt upon entering the Zychinko’s apartment. I stepped in, looked around, grabbed my ‘camp’ suitcase and headed to the van letting out the breath I had been holding.
Camp in Poltava was really hard. Very different from what we’re used to. And for me personally, not having Americans there really through me for a loop. Pasha suggested I teach English classes, lead English worship, “and anything else Americans do. Lori will do everything.” ;o) This obviously not being the case, I would like to say that I was SO impressed with our team who took our ‘flexibility’ motto of the summer to a WHOLE new level. Everyone led ‘craft class’ in place of English classes and by popular request we instated the first ever “Radooga Discoteka.”
The day the Ukrainian staff left camp was a really hard day for me. I thanked him for my ‘transition’ week with friends and asked if He was sure about my staying here, knowing full well the answer to the question. And for the first time without preceding or following with the statement “I’m excited” I said, “I’m scared.”
The next couple days were spent with the Magdych’s and Alyona (actress and friend) in our apartment, seeing the city and meeting with friends.
Then I got to go with the Magdych’s on vacation to their parents ‘dacha’ where we rested for a couple days before returning to Poltava.
On Sunday morning as I hugged them goodbye at 5 in the morning again I said “God, are you sure?”
Later that morning, my new friend Alyona, met me at the bus stop to help me get to her church. The preacher preached in Ukrainian and Alyona translated into Russian for me—kinda cool :o) Anyway, he talked about how as soon as we see a problem, as soon as something goes wrong, we want to turn around and go back. We decide that God must not be in it. He referenced the Israelites and how they got out of Egypt, but as soon as things got difficult they wanted to turn around and go back—even into slavery. Even as he preached it I thought “yeah, when the Radooga team was leaving camp I thought ‘God, are you sure Poltava? Did I really hear you?” and again as Magdychi left on just that morning I had asked Him ‘here?’ both times without response, but both times clinging to the memory of sitting in Jenn’s kitchen at orphanage 12 and all the events after that the I know He gave me to remind me that yes, He did say and yes, he has (and is) providing. Even to the point that the preacher read Isaiah 55, the chapter I am memorizing.
God is perfect.
суббота, августа 30, 2008
воскресенье, августа 17, 2008
Back Bloging
Looks like I may have made it back into the land of the internet.
The following posts were written while I was not in this world.
So much more to say. As I begin to process life, I will start to write again and catch you up on the 20 missing days between posts :o)
The following posts were written while I was not in this world.
So much more to say. As I begin to process life, I will start to write again and catch you up on the 20 missing days between posts :o)
June 23, 2008
Today, I decided to go for a walk. I threw on an old t-shirt; pulled on the capris that had been lying on top of the dirty clothes pile and slipped my feet into the flip flops nearest the door as I slid my keys into the lock to unlatch the door. I relocked it behind me and waited for the elevator to climb nine floors and let me in. As usual, when the elevator reached the ground floor, I almost subconsciously extended my hand using my super hero powers to open the doors. Leaving the building I thrust my hand into my pocket grabbed my hair tie and pulled my hair back out of my eyes and breathed deeply soaking in the sun and fresh air.
The weather has been absolutely gorgeous since I have been home and I love to watch the people that it brings out—moms pushing baby strollers, kids playing soccer on the basketball courts, couples on swing sets, older men with their chess boards sitting on benches. Everywhere are signs of life and I love it.
Its 10:00 and people are just now beginning to turn on lights inside their apartments as the moon creeps higher in the sky which is this amazing, deep, midnight blue color. The sun will be back long before I awaken. I think I am going to make a cup of tea, put in “You’ve Got Mail,” curl up next to my open window and call it a day.
The weather has been absolutely gorgeous since I have been home and I love to watch the people that it brings out—moms pushing baby strollers, kids playing soccer on the basketball courts, couples on swing sets, older men with their chess boards sitting on benches. Everywhere are signs of life and I love it.
Its 10:00 and people are just now beginning to turn on lights inside their apartments as the moon creeps higher in the sky which is this amazing, deep, midnight blue color. The sun will be back long before I awaken. I think I am going to make a cup of tea, put in “You’ve Got Mail,” curl up next to my open window and call it a day.
July 8th, 2008
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16, NIV
The other day I gave my left over French fries to a kid sitting on the stoop outside of McDonalds. He was there with a girl, smoking, and I’d seen him begging earlier. On my way to the bus, I walked right passed them, then turned around and went back. I asked if they wanted my fries. The girl pointed to him and as our hands briefly touched around the fry box a huge smile spread over his cigarette-smudged face and he said “Spaciba.” I smiled back and simply said “Pozhalusta” and as I walked on to my bus thoughts—wishes— of having said more ran through my head. “You could have told him Jesus loves him”, I told myself. And then thought of how odd, how trite, how irrelevant that statement is to someone who doesn’t know. That thought, the thought of saying Jesus loves you being the absolute wrong thing to say if it was all I had to say left me uneasy inside. It has been haunting me all week and, honestly, I’ve tried to avoid thinking about it.
Later in the week a friend of mine was talking about how she had been struggling with the fact that she was unworthy of Jesus’ death. She just couldn’t understand why he would die for her and why he would continually offer her forgiveness. I mentioned his ways and thoughts being higher than ours.
But tonight, as I sat by my window praying for Poltava and talking to God, John 3:16 ran through my head. And everything made so much since again. That is the message that I have to tell. That is the answer to my friend’s question of “why for me?”
It’s not about Jesus loving me or you or even the whole world. And at the same time, that’s the entirety of it (I’m a huge fan of paradoxes). The answer to why starts with the beginning of that verse. In the English language the word for can be translated because:
Because God.
So loved.
The world.
He gave.
I pray the kid who ate my fries will come to know Love, not just hear that he is [loved]. That someone will come and tell him that salvation waits for him in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and in that there is hope.
To my friend, I would like to add to my statement that His thoughts are higher than ours. I would like to tell her that yes, he died for her sin, but he died for his glory.
Revelation 7:10 “…salvation belongs to our God…”
Ezekiel 36:22-23
Therefore say to house of Israel, “this is what the Sovereign Lord says: it is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord, declares the Sovereign Lord, when I show myself holy through you before their eyes.
The other day I gave my left over French fries to a kid sitting on the stoop outside of McDonalds. He was there with a girl, smoking, and I’d seen him begging earlier. On my way to the bus, I walked right passed them, then turned around and went back. I asked if they wanted my fries. The girl pointed to him and as our hands briefly touched around the fry box a huge smile spread over his cigarette-smudged face and he said “Spaciba.” I smiled back and simply said “Pozhalusta” and as I walked on to my bus thoughts—wishes— of having said more ran through my head. “You could have told him Jesus loves him”, I told myself. And then thought of how odd, how trite, how irrelevant that statement is to someone who doesn’t know. That thought, the thought of saying Jesus loves you being the absolute wrong thing to say if it was all I had to say left me uneasy inside. It has been haunting me all week and, honestly, I’ve tried to avoid thinking about it.
Later in the week a friend of mine was talking about how she had been struggling with the fact that she was unworthy of Jesus’ death. She just couldn’t understand why he would die for her and why he would continually offer her forgiveness. I mentioned his ways and thoughts being higher than ours.
But tonight, as I sat by my window praying for Poltava and talking to God, John 3:16 ran through my head. And everything made so much since again. That is the message that I have to tell. That is the answer to my friend’s question of “why for me?”
It’s not about Jesus loving me or you or even the whole world. And at the same time, that’s the entirety of it (I’m a huge fan of paradoxes). The answer to why starts with the beginning of that verse. In the English language the word for can be translated because:
Because God.
So loved.
The world.
He gave.
I pray the kid who ate my fries will come to know Love, not just hear that he is [loved]. That someone will come and tell him that salvation waits for him in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and in that there is hope.
To my friend, I would like to add to my statement that His thoughts are higher than ours. I would like to tell her that yes, he died for her sin, but he died for his glory.
Revelation 7:10 “…salvation belongs to our God…”
Ezekiel 36:22-23
Therefore say to house of Israel, “this is what the Sovereign Lord says: it is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord, declares the Sovereign Lord, when I show myself holy through you before their eyes.
July 28th 2008
This summer already looks nothing like I expected it to. Over and over I keep coming back to the verse in Isaiah 55 that says his ways and thoughts are higher than ours. I am so thankful for all the things I never would have dreamed of scheduling in to my summer. That is not to say that this summer has been easy—in fact, I would venture to say it has been the hardest yet. But, it has been blessed and I have experienced the joy of SEEING that blessing.
Many of you know that my bags were packed for Poltava before I even left for America in May. I knew God had said go and I wanted to be ready. I got back to Kiev and got to eat lunch with Radooga staff before they began their camp season. I spent some time with friends in Kiev. I met up with Kevin and John’s teams both before and after their camps, respectively in Lugansk and Harkov. I spent A LOT of time on my knees about Poltava, street kids, orphans, direction and opportunity.
I went out to Bucha (small town right outside of Kiev where Radooga camps were held last summer) to do an English Class training session for Radooga. A good friend was driving me back to the city when a phone call came saying they were understaffed for the next two camps. I was asked to come serve as somewhat of a nanny for some of the staff members and to help set the cafeteria before each meal. I asked for a couple hours to think about it. A couple hours later I agreed to go, got home, packed my bags and went to bed wondering if I had made the right decision and praying God would help me to be a blessing and to serve with a humble spirit and a good attitude, remembering that all I do I do for him. He was more than faithful and I had so much fun setting the cafeteria, hanging out with American teams, playing with campers, worshiping with friends.
Through working camps the past couple weeks, a new Poltava opportunity has presented itself. (Isn’t God just incredible with the details! I wish I could tell you everything he’s done over the past couple weeks). The pastor that I hope to work with there was the camp pastor for camp 3. While he was at camp Randy Hall had gone to the orphan camp in Poltava to visit his kids. He got back and told us that the kids don’t have any program there or anything going on. Igor, the pastor, went home, visited the camp and decided that he wanted to do something. He called us and several of my friends and I are meeting with Igor on Tuesday to talk about what we can do there and hopefully Wednesday night we will head to Poltava. We will take all my stuff to my apartment in Poltava and then head to camp this weekend.
Please pray that we will be a blessing to the kids and to the camp workers and director. Pray for us to share Christ both in actions and words. Pray for me as this will be my first non-English language camp :o) Pray for God to give Igor and I direction for the future, for my meeting the orphanage director and the kids.
Many of you know that my bags were packed for Poltava before I even left for America in May. I knew God had said go and I wanted to be ready. I got back to Kiev and got to eat lunch with Radooga staff before they began their camp season. I spent some time with friends in Kiev. I met up with Kevin and John’s teams both before and after their camps, respectively in Lugansk and Harkov. I spent A LOT of time on my knees about Poltava, street kids, orphans, direction and opportunity.
I went out to Bucha (small town right outside of Kiev where Radooga camps were held last summer) to do an English Class training session for Radooga. A good friend was driving me back to the city when a phone call came saying they were understaffed for the next two camps. I was asked to come serve as somewhat of a nanny for some of the staff members and to help set the cafeteria before each meal. I asked for a couple hours to think about it. A couple hours later I agreed to go, got home, packed my bags and went to bed wondering if I had made the right decision and praying God would help me to be a blessing and to serve with a humble spirit and a good attitude, remembering that all I do I do for him. He was more than faithful and I had so much fun setting the cafeteria, hanging out with American teams, playing with campers, worshiping with friends.
Through working camps the past couple weeks, a new Poltava opportunity has presented itself. (Isn’t God just incredible with the details! I wish I could tell you everything he’s done over the past couple weeks). The pastor that I hope to work with there was the camp pastor for camp 3. While he was at camp Randy Hall had gone to the orphan camp in Poltava to visit his kids. He got back and told us that the kids don’t have any program there or anything going on. Igor, the pastor, went home, visited the camp and decided that he wanted to do something. He called us and several of my friends and I are meeting with Igor on Tuesday to talk about what we can do there and hopefully Wednesday night we will head to Poltava. We will take all my stuff to my apartment in Poltava and then head to camp this weekend.
Please pray that we will be a blessing to the kids and to the camp workers and director. Pray for us to share Christ both in actions and words. Pray for me as this will be my first non-English language camp :o) Pray for God to give Igor and I direction for the future, for my meeting the orphanage director and the kids.
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